UK at a Glance

The UK at a Glance

• drive on the left-hand side of the road (probably the real reason the chunnel will not be open for driving through - imagine the mess at the ends!).
• let the royalty live in something called "The Buckhouse".
• can not prepare beef
• can not even raise beef
• if they could raise beef, they would probably end up killing it with something nasty with a stupid, Pythonesque name like "Mad Cow Disease"
• are usually courteous to a fault
• don't say the 'B' word (hint: 6 letters, means "covered with blood") as frequently as in movies - social-impactwise, it's the equivalent of using the 'F' word in the USA.
• speak English, which is rather different from the language spoken by the chaps across the pond, nevermind other countries such as Texas.
• love roundabouts (traffic circles) which, in addition to often being more efficient than traffic lights or simple stops, are also jolly good fun!
• think 80 degrees Farenheit is an insufferable heat wave.
• do many things the same way they have done them for centuries, regardless of progress.
• do most everything else in a manner as different as possible from the rest of the world (not unlike the French).
• are horrified at the prospect of a 5 hour drive, which in the USA is just when you feel you are starting to go somewhere.
• serve beer at all meals (including breakfast) except tea.
• think "boot" and "bonnet" are parts of an auto.
• have finally learned to make coffee.
• have lots and lots of telly that is as bad as anything in the USA, just in a stuffier/bawdier manner.
• hate the EEC almost as much as they hated Hitler. [1]
• eat every part of an animal except the skeleton, and I believe in rare cases, the uvula.
• still use a monetary system devised by bored, demented children for the sole purpose of writing silly songs and nursery rhymes about it.
• don't (as a rule) believe in showers.

[1] Which, given that the EEC spends millions of monetary units on such things as defining a "standard" carrot, and the penalties for calling anything outside those narrow parameters a carrot, while ignoring the really important issues, such as the plethora of national currencies, is understandable.

Last updated: 16 July 1997

Copyright 1994, 1997 Miles O'Neal, Austin, TX. All rights reserved.