The English & Bathing
When I was in the UK the 1st time, they told
me I got the better company flat, even though
it didn't look as nice, because it came with
a shower. [3] [5]
Sho [7] 'nuf, there was this blue hose stuck
on the end of the bathtub [11]
spigot [13]
with a fake, rubber shower head on the end.
There was no shower curtain, as the hose
was only about .67 meters long. Very nice
for shampooing hair - as long as it isn't
the hair at the normally up end of your
corporeal entity. [17]
Which explains why some of the British are
a bit crusty, stiff, and aloof. The former
two are results of not bathing, but rather
soaking, and the latter a direct result of
the survival instinct - on an island nation,
the ``fight or flight'' instinct aroused by
a bathless society would devastate the population
in no time.
Notes
[3] It also had all the appliances - except an
alarm clock or hair dryer. And the master
switch for the kitchen outlets was hidden
inside the garbage disposal [19] or somewhere
else absurd.
[5] A coworker who was there an extended length
of time finally had her daddy send her the
correct plumbing, and paid the Queen's plumber
to install it on his own time (which would
apparently have got them both sent through
traitor's gate, had it been discovered then.)
[7] Trademark, Kawumoto Corporation, purveyors
of useless lunch information.
[11] I've forgotten what this footnote was for.
Perhaps it was about bathtubs. They certainly do understand bathtubs,
the smallest I've seen being larger than some efficiency apartments
in the USA.
[13] I'm a footnote virus. We are an endangered
species. Please help!
[17] If you get my drift.
[19] They don't have them. Except goats.
Last updated: 27 June 1996
Copyright 1994, 1995 Miles O'Neal, Austin, TX. All rights reserved.
Free redistribution of this article is allowed so
long as this copyright and the author's name are attached, but
all other uses require the author's permission.
Miles O'Neal
<roadkills.r.us@XYZZY.gmail.com>
[remove the "XYZZY." to make things work!]
c/o RNN / 1705 Oak Forest Dr / Round Rock, TX / 78681-1514