Obituary: Seth I

From the NYT obits page:

An unidentified math student from Case Western University died yes- terday under strange circumstances. The student was strolling through Central Park after dark, when he was approached by two very large breasts (witnesses described them as male, caucasian, possibly Irish, and thirtyish, in need of a bath and haircut) in an apparently hostile manner. For reasons unknown, the student screamed, "I renounce, brothers, I renounce!" Whatever this means, it had no effect, and he was mugged just like anyone else. As the attackers fled, a large, smoking elevator rose out of the ground beside the still body. The doors opened, flames shot out, and the body was pulled into the car while fiendish cackles were heard. The last words heard from the student as the doors closed were, "I've been had!", just before the elevator sunk back into the ground. Witnesses said the only trace the elevator left was a scent of sulphur, stale Secret, and old rabbit turds.

The student is survived by two rabbits with Case Western's logo tatooed on their butts. The rebbits refused to give any details, such as the deceased's name or address. NYPD shrugged their shoulders and let the rabbits go.

Last updated: 14 Jul 1994

Copyright 1988, 1994 Miles O'Neal, Austin, TX. All rights reserved.

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