Introducing: Net.Cop!

Setting: The peaceful insane babblings and flamefest of talk.bizarre is, as usual, broken by cross-posted stupidity from other froups.... (Kaldis was voted net.idiot a while back by popular acclaim, and recently beat out the competition by 20:1 or so in an actual vote.) Keegan is some newbie twit without a klu. Earlier in his post he accused Greg Nowak (a truly awesome, creative flamer) of trying to be the net.cop.

James G Keegan Jr writes:

what makes you think you have the right to tell hampe where to post?

He's a net.cop, idiot.

do net.cops wear uniforms?

Sure. Black Hole Black. With BHB trim, BHB letters, and a white heat shield that says, "Thou Shalt Not Krill" in 6 languages. A large, dayglo, metallic, candy-apple orange cattleprod in a shoulder holster, used to goad certain animals back into their cages.

Nowak appears without sound in the center of the room. The tap of fingers on keys nervously disappears. He whips the cattle prod from its holster, and engraves "K*ld*s" on the feckless fools's forehead before he can move. Smoke drifts up from the high-voltage cranium craters. Keegan falls backwards onto his keyboard. The screen clears except for the indecipherable glyph


      *PLONK*

in the center of the screen, followed quickly by


User Rosen logged out.

Net.cop Nowak turns on his heel, clicks his boot heels together, mutters something about toothpaste, and disappears as silently as he appeared.

The keyclatter doesn't restart for a long time.

Go to next story.

Last updated: 30 Mar 1994

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