Listen, my children, and you will hear
Of the last ride of Santa and his reindeer.
On the eve of Christmas in nineteen nine oh,
He'd finished his rounds, and prepared to go
Back to The Pole for some nice root beer.

He said to Rudolph, "I've a great short cut;
It could be a little dangerous, but
It could save us an hour, or maybe five.
Wouldn't Mrs. Claus like to see us arrive
Before dawn's early light?" So they veered away west
Instead of the route that old Rudolph knew best.
Then something real fast caught St. Nicholas' eye
Just as they passed over G T R I.

Poor Robin and Nick and the rest of the crew
Had lost track of the time (they had too much to do);
They'd worked long and hard, and couldn't remember
Whether the month was July or December.
They'd checked off each box on each line of the log;
There wasn't to be any snow, clouds or fog;
The flight path was cleared with Dobbins that day,
And with Hartsfield, Dekalb, and of course, FAA.

The radar worked fine, and they let out a cheer;
The computer reported no aircraft were near;
They were certain a bonus was due in their pocket
Until they got Santa while testing their rocket.


      (picture small mushroom cloud here)

Copyright 1990, 1997 Miles O'Neal, Austin, TX. All rights reserved.

Special thanks to Gerald Oskoboiny, who maintains the talk.bizarre wasteful archive, without whom and which this might have been lost forever.

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