Georgia at a Glance

by Miles O'Neal, Jetlag, Ltd.

Georgia at a Glance

Capital:                          Atlanta
Size:                             small-medium
Population:                       One less Texas, thankfully
Active air bases with cool shows: yes
Nickname:                         The Peach State
Major Industries:                 peanuts, cotton, ignorance,
                                  humidity, mosquitos
Incredibly Minor Industries:      peaches
Educational Ranking:              vies with AL, MS, & SC for
                                  47th - 50th places

Georgia:

• was one of the original 13 colonies
• started out as a penal institution for criminals King George was tired of
• has more rednecks per acre than almost any other state.
• has more rednecks per capita than almost any other state.
• has more rednecks per anything than almost any other state.
• will give anyone from the Wide Open Spaces claustrophobia in record time.
• is mostly green.
  • except the dirt, which is red.
  • red clay, that is.
  • which never, ever comes out of clothes.
  • and is frictionless when wet.
• has pollen as its chief export.
• is incrediblty pretty in the spring & fall.
• has a seacoast, but nobody besides the navy much cares.
• vies with AL, MS, & SC for most junked cars in front yards
• has several well-known schools:
  • Georgia Institute of Technology
  • Georgia State University
  • Morris Brown
  • Medical College of Georgia
  • Emory University
  • Clark County Community Cow College
• perfected the grit in 1812.
• has lots of women with big hair.
• has lots of men with big bellies.
• gave us, or was/is home to:
  • Mark Heard
  • Midtown Light & Trust
  • The Dukes of Hazzard
  • REM
  • B52s
  • Michelle Malone & Drag the River
  • the Boll Weevil
  • Martin Luther King, Jr.
  • Ludoweechi (a speed trap so notorious that GA's Governor twice had their radar license revoked, and the Georgia State Patrol put up signs warning tourists to avoid it)
  • The Dixie Grits/Dixie Dregs
  • Kansas
  • Mylon LeFevre
  • The Spinx Atomic Indicator & Scale Company
  • Jimmy Carter
  • many nuclear subs
  • biiiilllions & biiiilllions of pine trees
  • Max Cleland, the best Secretary of State in the USA
  • various other luminaries
• thinks Stone Mountain & the Kennesaw Bumps are mountains
• has some of the prettiest mountain roads & scenery in the southeastern USA [1]

[1] well north of Stone Mountain & the Kennesaw Bumps.

Last updated: 10 Aug 1997

Copyright 1994, 1996, Miles O'Neal, Austin, TX. All rights reserved. Free redistribution of this article is allowed so long as this copyright and the author's name are attached, but all other uses require the author's permission.